Easy Day

I have to take it easy today, I am in too much pain to push myself. Darn it. I guess all those squats are coming back to haunt me because my upper thighs are still screaming 32 hours later. Yeah, I'm counting. So, I suppose I learned a lesson here - I need to do more squats.

I took a long walk, slow pace this morning, just a little shy of 1 mile. That took me down to our pasture end and back, about 30 minutes. My heart does not feel like I had a workout, but at least I'm still moving around. That was the goal this morning, just get moving. I also went ipod-less, so that I could have a quiet heart-to-heart with myself.

I weigh 157 pounds and I'm 5'2. This is not a healthy weight. I carry a lot of flab from having 2 kids that I don't like. I was thin in high school and college and really only put on the weight afterwards. I feel like I eat pretty healthfully but obviously my nutrition is not on target, since I have all this weight to loose. I know the steps, I've done them before, but I can never break through that 150 pound wall. Every year I say I am determined to do it this year.

And I really, truly am. I am tired of being fat. I am tired of being winded after walking up stairs. I am tired of not wanting to be in a bathing suit because I don't like how I look. It is going to be beach season soon and I want to be proud of my outside, the way I am of my inside. For the first time, I am really content with who I am and where I am in my life. Now, I want that inner self to be reflected in my outer self.

It is my hope that by writing this blog and being accountable, I will be able to break through that wall and find a new me on the other side.