Just Admit it

Ok I will. I am a scale-junkie. I try not to be, but I am. I live my life by the numbers some stupid piece of plastic mock me with nearly every morning. I say nearly, because I don't jump on said stupid piece of plastic everyday. I would, but sometimes my bathroom is occupied when I get up & I have strict weigh-in rules.

I used to weigh-in on Tuesdays. Then I figured out that my "lowest weight" of the week was generally Thursdays. (Except for today, where I weighed in at 153 lbs, or 1.6 lbs less than yesterday) So, I stopped officially recording my weight on Tuesdays and moved it to Thursday. Lest you think this is a new development, it is not. I've been doing that for about 8 years.

There was a time when my scale was broken or put away & I didn't bother to weigh myself every week or even every month. Scroll up if you want to be reminded of why that didn't work for me. I need that accountability & the visual reminder of progress or not.

I feel like an addict trying to justify my addiction. (I only stepped on the scale 2x this morning, honest!) I also feel like I'm anorexic trying to insist I'm not. Well, I'm not now anyways, I managed to beat that demon years ago.

Anyhow, I am not going to bother to vow to kick the habit. I know that I won't. I also know that I don't get super happy (or sad) based only on the scale. I used to. Then I started measuring inches and that often helps take the blow out of a seemingly bad week. So, I think, since I don't let the scale define my mood, I can continue my obsession with it. Here's the thing - I don't even have a "real" goal in mind anymore. The weight will either come off or it won't & I'll either get healthy or I won't.

My entire goal right now is to lose my 10% or 16 pounds which would put me at 142. That has been an unreachable goal for the last 10 years. But, as Yoda says, "there is no try", so I'll simply Do.