Not Doing Very Well

So, I'm bummed. I've gained weight & inches.

But, I am determined to get back on track.

Waist: 33.25
Hips: 39.5
Bum: 40.5

Let's see if we can't improve that for next week! I've a wedding to go to!!

Back to Blogging

So, I've had some good workouts, some not so good workouts and some off days. But, overall, I'm pretty pleased with the progress that I've made. I ran 5.5 miles today, about 8.5 km, so I won't be too long before I am tackling a 10K run. I might have managed another .5 mile but my feet were killing me, and sure enough, I am developing some nasty blisters on the arch of my feet. Not fun. I think I need "running" socks. The cotton ones are just not working out one bit.

I actually intended to run 7 miles today but hubby talked me out of it. I am actually grateful that he did, since I was hurting pretty good by mile 4.75. But, when you are still that far from home, you have 2 choices, keep running or lay down and die. (It's a long, lonely gravel road. It might be a day or two before a car comes by....) So, I sucked it up and ran.

It occurs to me that I haven't posted stats for awhile, so here goes:

Weight: 150.0 (seriously. I cannot break the 150s) Total Loss: 7 pounds

Waist 32 Total Loss: 4.5 inches
Hip 38 Total Loss: 2.75 inches
Low Hip 39 (more correctly, the butt measurement)
R Thigh 21 Total Loss: 3.00 inches
R Arm 11.5 Total Loss: .50 inches
Bust 36.5 Total Loss: 1.25 inches
Underbust 32 Total Loss: 1.00 inches

Total inches lost: 12.75 since the beginning!!!!

My hubby thinks I look amazing. I think I might agree!

Just Admit it

Ok I will. I am a scale-junkie. I try not to be, but I am. I live my life by the numbers some stupid piece of plastic mock me with nearly every morning. I say nearly, because I don't jump on said stupid piece of plastic everyday. I would, but sometimes my bathroom is occupied when I get up & I have strict weigh-in rules.

I used to weigh-in on Tuesdays. Then I figured out that my "lowest weight" of the week was generally Thursdays. (Except for today, where I weighed in at 153 lbs, or 1.6 lbs less than yesterday) So, I stopped officially recording my weight on Tuesdays and moved it to Thursday. Lest you think this is a new development, it is not. I've been doing that for about 8 years.

There was a time when my scale was broken or put away & I didn't bother to weigh myself every week or even every month. Scroll up if you want to be reminded of why that didn't work for me. I need that accountability & the visual reminder of progress or not.

I feel like an addict trying to justify my addiction. (I only stepped on the scale 2x this morning, honest!) I also feel like I'm anorexic trying to insist I'm not. Well, I'm not now anyways, I managed to beat that demon years ago.

Anyhow, I am not going to bother to vow to kick the habit. I know that I won't. I also know that I don't get super happy (or sad) based only on the scale. I used to. Then I started measuring inches and that often helps take the blow out of a seemingly bad week. So, I think, since I don't let the scale define my mood, I can continue my obsession with it. Here's the thing - I don't even have a "real" goal in mind anymore. The weight will either come off or it won't & I'll either get healthy or I won't.

My entire goal right now is to lose my 10% or 16 pounds which would put me at 142. That has been an unreachable goal for the last 10 years. But, as Yoda says, "there is no try", so I'll simply Do.

Week 8

If ever I've had a zero change week, this might be it:

Weight 154.6 (+.6)

Waist: 34.5
Hip: 38.75
R Thigh: 22
R Arm 11
Underbust 33
Bust 36.5

No gains, no losses. It could be worse. Well, maybe next week.

There Are Donuts in My Office.

There are donuts in my office.

And I am really hungry.

I think that they are calling my name.

I think that I had a crappy run this morning.

I think that might be from all the donuts I've eaten in the last 10 years.

I think that I am better than a chocolate donut.

I know that I am better than a chocolate donut.

I know that if I eat the donut, I am going to feel crappy.

I know that by not eating this donut I am saying Yes! to myself.


I think that I will not eat the donut.

Run Forrest Run

You’ve all got the mental picture now, don’t you? A goofy looking runner – well, I’m not all tall and gangly like Forrest Gump, but I’m pretty sure I look as goofy.

On Sunday I did my very first 5K race. My kids think I won. I didn’t tell them that I won. Honest. It’s just that after I told them I didn’t win about 20 times, I finally gave in and said, “Yes, I won.” They were happy.

In a way, I did win though. My best training time was just over 41 minutes, or a 12 minute mile. I came in at 35:46 (an 11:30 mile!), so I am pretty thrilled. My entire goal was to run the entire race, no walking, and come in around 39 minutes. Check check. I never imagined I could knock 5 full minutes off my time!

About 1/2 way through, I really wondered why the hell I ever decided to run this stupid race. It was hard and I was tired and my form was slowly disintegrating into pile of slump. (Which is a great way to get injured, by the way) But, I tried my best to buck up, pull in my core and straighten out. That didn’t work really very well, so I just held on for the rest of the run.

And then, right at the end, they announce “And here comes Michelle ___ from (my little wee town)” and I got a boost that even I didn’t think I had in me. I crossed that finish line triumphantly, albeit a little bummed because the timer read 51:– minutes, but still feeling a sense of “I DID IT”. Hey, 10 minutes earlier I would have been thrilled to lay down and die.

As it turned out, the timer was set for the half-marathon that started 15 minutes before, so my time was much better than I saw on screen. Ahh, the innocence of a newbie.

I managed to finish before the 10K winner (who started at the same time as the 5K) and see the half-marathon winner cross the finish line too. Man, could those guys run!

Anyhow, I am pretty excited, even today at how well I did. Now, I need to set a new goal I guess. Maybe 5K in 30 minutes?? My loving and oh-so-supportive brother suggested I could do his run – 5K in 25 minutes with 25 push-ups at each kilometer. Army boys are such show-offs.

Week 7

I did not do my measurements yesterday because I got up late & wanted to go for a run. Every minute counts in my morning.

I did weigh in at 154.0 (down .4 more total!) so that was exciting.

Also, I managed to run 5K in 41 minutes, my new personal best time. This isn't fast or even great, but to me, it is fantastic!

On a bad note, I developed a UTI last night and am in agony. So, off to a walk-in clinic. Nearest one is 1.5 hours away, but faster than waiting until my doc can see me.

Possibly the Weirdest Non-Scale Victory

I learned about Non-Scale Victories (NSV) when I was in Weight Watchers. These are the little boosts you get, not from the scale, but from making the positive changes in your life. They might be small, like passing on dessert because you are too full. Or, they might be huge - dropping a full dress size.

I've been blogging (complaining) about not seeing real results on the scale. I really do want to see more results and am trying to buckle down & kick my own butt. This is sort of working. Sometimes though, it is nice to have some positive motivation.

It is laundry day, which generally means the only underwear left in the drawer is either: a) teeny-tiny, left over from my skinny days or b) not really meant to be worn as underwear (stuff that comes as a sexy set, if you know what I mean)

So, not wanting to wear b, but resigned to doing so, I tried on my teeniest, tiniest pair of underwear. THEY FIT! They are not too tight. They do not risk cutting off my circulation. Granted, they are only technically a size smaller than my regular pairs, but the cut of them makes them littlest. and, no, I am not posting a picture. They fit, but that doesn't mean they look "good".

My darling husband though was quite thrilled to see them & thought I looked very hot. What other NSV does a girl need??

Week 6

Okay, I already said it wasn't shaping up to be a great week.

Weight: 156.4 (+2.0)

Waist 34.5 (n/c)
Hip 38.75 (-.25)
R Thigh 22 (.-5)
R Arm
Underbust 33 (n/c)
Bust 36.75 (n/c)

I was hoping for a little more waist trimming this week, but I guess a little (very very little) off the hip is nice too.

I did a run/walk last night - 3 minutes running, 3 minutes walking for 40 minutes. It was only supposed to be 30 minutes, but I went too far from home. In 40 minutes, I went 2 miles, so that was cool. I got up this morning and did a 25 minute, slow paced walk. My knees don't hurt so much this morning, so I wanted to just give them an easy time.

I hope to do another cycling workout tonight. I think I am not active enough for what I am eating & I am pretty much hungry all the time on this plan. I'm also not losing any weight, so I need to really step up for next week.

Feeling Kinda Brutal

I have a cold. A nastier by the minute head cold. I've already put the youngest to bed at 7:00 & the eldest is in the tub, getting ready for an early bedtime.

I need a hot bath. I need an early bed. I need to work off about 6 flex points.

Guess which one of those is not likely getting done? At this point, all three are up for grabs. Still haven't made hubby's supper, since he doesn't get in until around midnight, so early bed might be a dream. For some reason, this year, I can't seem to fall asleep until he comes to bed. It is making me one mighty tired lady.

Also, today is stat day but I forgot to do it & got up late. So, I will try to remember tomorrow morning and post them then.

Yeesh I feel awful.

Probably a bad week

Hate to say it, but I don't think this is going to be much of a loss-week. Monday was a total binge day. It was like I couldn't walk past food without putting it in my mouth. I was home for the Victoria day holiday & it was awful weather outside. Normally, my coping with a binge-day is to get outside. Go shopping. Do anything, except spend time in the house.

Well, we'd done the shopping on Saturday. I couldn't go outside. I couldn't motivate myself to do anything.

I've started doing Weight Watchers again, but on my own. I decided to just count 20 flex points for the binge. I might have eaten all 35, but I can't say because I didn't write it down. Yes, I know the whole point is to record everything. But, that was too depressing & I ended up wanting to eat more, not less. Yikes.

I did 30 minutes on the stationary bike Monday night, since I was feeling pretty bad about the food I ate. Then I did another 60 minutes last night. My knee (left) is sore. It's been sore since last Monday & no matter how much or how little I do, it isn't getting any better. It's also not getting any worse.

I teased my hubby that maybe this is what a knee is supposed to feel like. After all, it seems like it's been so long since I did anything physical....

Trying hard to keep up the water intake. I'm doing pretty good on work days. Not so great on weekends. So, the goal for the week is: drink all my water including the weekend. Not go over my remaining 15 flex points.

This is going to be t-o-u-g-h.

Week 5

Remember I was nearly ready to quit last week? Sometimes you just have to be patient. Because today I am down 3.2 pounds from Week 1 (4 pounds from last week!) a total of 2.66% lost! Maybe it sounds like nothing, but for me, I'm dancing.

Weight- 154.4
Waist 34.5 (-.75)
Hip 39 (n/c)
R Thigh 22.5 (n/c)
R Arm 11.5 (+.5)
Underbust 33
Bust 36.75 (+.75, feels like swelling)

Interesting measurements today. I know I'm approaching the PMS part of my cycle, which likely accounts for the increased bust size. Hubby won't be sad. I'm really excited to see that the weight is coming off my waist. I'm going to have to target the hip/belly pouch next, since that is always a stubborn area.

Anyhow, I'd just like to say: YAHOO ME!

Two Updates

I was out again last night for a run, 5K in 46 minutes, including the walk to and from the starting line. Since the starting line doesn't move, I think 46 minutes is about the same as I did last time. I felt like I was running slower last night, but I didn't walk quite as much, so that is probably the reason for logging the same time. I felt a little less winded after but still had a pretty hard, fast heartbeat. I found about 2.2 k in, I started to get a stitch in my side. I reduced the pace and tried to breathe more normally and that seemed to help also.

I was also up for a 40 mintue bike ride this morning. I think that darned near killed me. There was no wind, but I felt so tired that I wondered if I'd be able to make it. I logged about 2 miles in total but my knees are now pretty stiff. Good chance I overdid it, I should have eaten something before going out also. So, about half way back, I felt like I had hit a wall, but what can you do? You have to get home & Learn a Lesson.

The other update, I am trying "free" weight watchers. I just can't seem to drop any weight, even with all the exercise. I must be making up for it in food consumption, so I thought to myself: Self, it is time to start tracking points again.

The trouble is, I can't justify spending $75 on a 3 month subscription right now. I have $0 available to me because I am trying to pay off a nasty credit card bill. (It's not $10K or anything, I just want to get rid of the balance I'm carrying). So, I looked around cyberspace and found some free tools for tracking weight. It sure isn't as good as online subscription, but will have to do for now. I figure if I can drop a few pounds on my own WW plan, then we'll see what my finances look like in a month or two. Really, I'd rather not have to track at all, but if there is one thing I know about WW, is that it does work for me.

I think. See, I usually drop about 10 pounds, get bored and quit. That takes about 2 months usually. So, the third month is a waste. I really, really, really want to lose the first 10% this time. I said that the first, second and third time too. BUT. Let's go with, this time I mean it. Hey, I didn't gain the weight (or the bad habits) in a year, so I can't expect to lose them on the first try either. That means my immediate goal is 15 pounds in 3 months. So far, on my complete own, I gained a pound. Not a bright start. This morning, I felt "lighter" so I weighed in, and I am down .2 pounds from when I started (so now at 157.4) I am hopeful that on the official weigh-in day (Thursday) there will be some actual, measurable movement on my scale.

This week, I am giving up cookies, in addition to my other goals of working out every day, drinking water and etc. I want to see if it can make a difference. What a hard challenge. I love my cookies. But, I love me more. So, I will give it a good shot. I did have about 1/4 cookie this morning as I was checking to see how fresh they were staying since Saturday. They are the kids' cookies and it is a new Gluten free recipe, so I needed to know. I did mark it down, all .5 points of it. I don't actually know if this is right, but I always score at least .5 points for any "taste testing" I do. Keeps me honest.

To Run or Not?

My feet are so sore today. Yesterday was my best childhood friend's wedding. I wore amazing, 3.5 inch heel silver sandals. So pretty. So hard on the feet.

I haven't been out for a run for a couple of days, so I'm feeling like I should be out there again but ouch, my feet are not so amused. I know that there is nothing wrong, they are just tired, like the rest of my poor body. This 1:00 a.m. stuff is not for me. I need to be getting more sleep & a late night did not help matters.

I've been watching "Taking It Off" today, as I eat lunch & am not finding it as good as Biggest Loser, but it is a lot more realistic, since the people are living their "real" lives, not at a special location with trainers. The only problem with the realism is that I don't find it as motivating. I like BL because I am motivated at the end. This show, I can't say that it helps me get off the couch.

Anyhow, that's enough for today. It is Sunday, the sun is shining and I'm wasting it. Maybe I'll think of a bit more to say later.

A New Goal

I got a newsletter yesterday from the local YMCA. They are having a 1/2 marathon, 10K and 5K race on May 31st. The cost to do a 5K (timed!) run is $15. The run itself is about an hour and a half drive from my house & starts at (eek!) 8:15 a.m. Now, I'm not sure that I am ready for such an "event".

So, I got into the car last night & mapped out 2.5 km. That gives me 5 km round-trip. This morning, I mapped out 2.5 km in a different direction, so I don't get bored while I am running. I was surprised and excited to see that I was only about .5 km short (each way) of running 5 km at my peak last summer. Just for "fun" I also mapped out 5 km in one direction, yeah, that's not going to happen any time soon!! 10Km is a loooooong way.

I was too excited and anxious to give 5 km a try to wait for the morning run. Could I do it? Would I give up and walk for half? I strapped on my new runners, set up the ipod and set off. A nice, easy pace, to not wear myself out completely. I got to 1 km. Doing good. I made 1.5 km, not even sweating yet. Got to 2 km, wondered if I'd make it back. I walked for about .5 km next and then turned around and ran all 2.5 back.

Did you read that! I RAN 4.5 km last night. It took 56 minutes (give or take, since I walked in and out of the "starting line") but I DID it. I thought for sure I'd be sore and miserable today, but I am not even a bit. Tired, but it is also Friday & I often feel a little more worn out on Fridays.

I am pretty proud of myself right now. The question is, do I enter the race, or not? I only have 3 weeks to train and I'm not sure that's enough to get my time down to something "reasonable". I looked at last years' results. The fastest time was 22 minutes. (I think just maybe he should have entered the 10 km race, bu that's just me) The slowest time was 56 minutes, but the majority came in around 35 - 40 minutes. So, I need to trim at least 5 minutes off my time I think. Is 3 weeks enough time to do it?

Also, I'll need some childcare. My hubby is likely still at work & I can't run with 2 boys at home! So, there's a couple of obstacles to overcome. I have to decide by May 22nd, which is 1 full week before the race. Maybe that's enough time to decide if I can make it.

Week 4

If I wasn't such a stubborn pain in the butt, I think I'd just give up today.



Weight: 158.6 (gain of 1 pound over last time, total of 1.6 pounds gained)

Waist (belly button) 35.25 (-.25")
Hips (upper) 39 (-1)
R Upper Thigh 22.5 (-.5)
R Upper Arm 11" (-.5)
Underband 32.75 (-.25)
Bust 36 (-1)

So, that's a further loss of 3.5 inches. Total of 7.5 overall.

If it wasn't for the fact that I am sloooooooooooooooowly losing inches, I'd be eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

Break Day

I had to take a Rest day this morning. After all the running, biking and log lifting, I am afraid I am going to cause an injury. I know I am also not getting enough sleep, midnight to 6:00 a.m. is not much rest. So, I am taking an easy day, light walking at lunch maybe, but no running.

Eric will likely have me back out on a bike tonight and I am hoping to get a few more logs stacked up so that shouldn't be too much.

I really hate to not be out running this morning, but if I push too hard and hurt myself I am going to be sidelined for several days instead. Know your limits I guess. Tomorrow is Stat day, so I don't like that I'm not getting a "last chance workout", but again, moderation, right?

Oh, and do you like my new banner? That's me in all my glory. Yup, the pictures are taken a couple years apart. The bikini was summer of 2007 and the "fully clothed" is from 2 weeks ago. I'm hoping to add photos to the banner as I slim down. In the fully clothed I know I was 158 pounds. (In the bathing suit, probably the same.) I HATE that picture, but I know that it is what I look like. So, maybe it will be motivating.

I managed to drink all my water and then some yesterday, so that was nice. Here's hoping today goes as easily.

My Son

I swear, who needs a "coach". I have Eric, the bike riding, sun loving, always moving 4 year old. He insisted on a bike ride out to the tractor tonight - about .75 miles one way. Of course, that means I get to ride both directions, which is not such a bad thing! In total, we took about 30 minutes, but really the ride back was about 10 or so.

That kid is determined to get me off my butt & moving. He doesn't even know that Mommy is trying to be healthier. I think he just likes this new Mommy that is willing to get out and play.

I love the grin on his face when I say "ok" to any activity. It makes all the sweat, all the exhaustion and all the muscle pain worth it.

(But I am sooooo not ready for a Marathon. Yet.)

Much Better Day

There is something about setting goals & being accountable for them (even if it is just here) that really works for me. I dragged my lazy butt away from the (useless, boring) Monday night t.v. and went outside with the kids last night. Eric & I attempted a bike ride but the wind was so strong it kept pushing him over. The kid only weighs 40 pounds (in a snowsuit) so I don't know why I was surprised!

So we went back to the yard & I started re-stacking the woodpile. My loving husband dumps a 3-ton truck load on our lawn every November with the hopes that we'll use most of it through the winter. Well, it must have been a big load this year because there's enough left to get us through to next February at least! It's a workout & strength training in one, so I gladly spent an hour or so at that.

Then, this morning, I did sprints/walk for my workout. What a killer. I am probably going to need to lay off a bit tomorrow, especially if I get back to the woodpile tonight. I really want to get my speed & endurance up & I know that sprints are a good way to push that boundary.

Of course, I am probably going to have to put the kids to bed early & strength train inside tonight since it is Biggest Loser tonight. I love love that show. I try to pretend I don't, but secretly, I am so mad if I miss it. I even like the old episodes on Slice. It is just so motivating, especially the end shows, to see the changes that are possible.

I'm really struggling with the water goal today. Water just tastes like yuck today, so it's Crystal Lite or lemon juice I guess. Well, I'm halfway through my first bottle, but I hope the next one is easier to get down.

Never Give Up

I didn't even bother to post stats on Thursday, too depressing. I think I gained more weight this week but since I didn't deserve to lose any, I guess I can't be too upset. I did try to workout some last week but with my conference and the late nights, it didn't go so well.

But, every week is a new opportunity to do better, right?

I've only been at this for 4 weeks now & already I needed to give myself a serious butt-kicking. So, this morning's run really felt like it. It was only 30 minutes (standard morning workout time) but am I ever sweaty. Gross really. I ran from my starting point (about 1/4 mile), then a full 1/2 mile, walk to the next hydro pole, then run the same 1/2 mile/1/4 mile back. Adding all that up makes 1.5 miles ran (all out!) this morning.

Last year I was running 2 miles (plus the 1/4 mile each way) in 30 minutes. I could almost see the "finish line" this morning. That was very inspiring. I always want to give up about 1/2 mile into the run, it's so hard, it's still cold, I'm tired..... but this morning I pushed my boundaries and made myself put out the effort.

Never give up. That's my new mantra for the week.

Ok, goals this week:
1. Work out Monday - Friday. At least 1 bike ride/run
2. Drink 2 bottles (591 ml) water at work, 5 glasses at home
3. Add 1 strength/toning workout in the evening.
4. (This is week 4!!) Ride bikes with Eric at least 2 times this week, plus once on weekend

Blah.

I've been away all week at a conference. You know what that means. Rich food, lots of alcohol and not much exercise.

And that means I now weigh in at 159. A 2 pound gain.

I am not surprised. I am not pleased either.

I went for a run/walk this morning in my brand new sneakers, which were supposed to inspire me to get off my lazy butt. Unfortunately, that didn't work today. So, I logged a total of 1.5 miles and didn't really even work very hard.

But, it is better than sitting in another meeting eating danish, right??

Good Workout Today

I dragged my sorry butt out of bed this morning to find it was below 0 degrees!! Yuck. I hate that much cold this late into April. But, since I was up anyhow, I figured I might as well get out for a run.

I only ended up being out 25 minutes which is actually a victory, since it means I am covering the same ground in less time. I guess it is time to safely increase my distance next week. Right now I am walking about 1/8 of a mile, then running 1/2 mile, 1/8 mile walk, run 1/2 mile, recover/walk 1/8 mile. I haven't quite gotten to the 1/2 mile marker on the one road, so I am going to aim for that next week. It's about another 1/8 of a mile from my current turn around point. Not a big change in the goal but it sure looked a loooong way off this morning. Maybe if I'd known I'd be at least 5 minutes short in my workout, I would have pushed to it.

I feel really great after this workout - I had really consistent speed and don't feel totally winded and tired now. That's a big change even from last week. I think it is the toning work I did earlier in the week also paying off. My legs feel much stronger. You wouldn't think 1 killer toning workout would have that many benefits, but I feel like it did. Of course, now I have to do it again, either today or tomorrow, which I am kinda dreading. At least the first time I didn't know how hard it was!

My water intake is really improving, I have hit my goal everyday and am increasing it just a bit. My bladder is starting to keep up better and I see that my skin is getting more clear. I always breakout terribly when I first start drinking a lot of water but if I stick with it I end up with gorgeous, soft skin. I hope it is just around the corner!

I am committed to getting in shape and I can't wait until I can fit into some of my skinny clothes! I have a pair of pants in a size 8 just begging to be let off the hanger and out for some fun!

Week 2

So, I weighed in this morning and drumroll....

I gained .6 of a pound. I am now 157.6 lbs. This sucks. I worked hard this week for nothing.

I had planned to treat myself to a home hair colour for weight loss. I really am sad about the gain. So, instead of waiting a month (like I probably should) I decided to try re-measuring to see if that would show me some results.

Measurements:
Waist (belly button) 35.5 (-1")
Hips 40 (-.75")
R Upper Thigh 23 (-1")
R Upper Arm 11.5 (-.5")
Underband 33 (same)
Bust 37 (-.75")

That's a total of 4 inches! WOW. I am currently colouring my hair. Even if I was a little off on how I measured from one time to another, I rechecked each measurement and I can't make the tape fit snuggly (especially on my thigh - which is still screaming from all the squats). Yikes! I am glad I measured now!

Easy Day

I have to take it easy today, I am in too much pain to push myself. Darn it. I guess all those squats are coming back to haunt me because my upper thighs are still screaming 32 hours later. Yeah, I'm counting. So, I suppose I learned a lesson here - I need to do more squats.

I took a long walk, slow pace this morning, just a little shy of 1 mile. That took me down to our pasture end and back, about 30 minutes. My heart does not feel like I had a workout, but at least I'm still moving around. That was the goal this morning, just get moving. I also went ipod-less, so that I could have a quiet heart-to-heart with myself.

I weigh 157 pounds and I'm 5'2. This is not a healthy weight. I carry a lot of flab from having 2 kids that I don't like. I was thin in high school and college and really only put on the weight afterwards. I feel like I eat pretty healthfully but obviously my nutrition is not on target, since I have all this weight to loose. I know the steps, I've done them before, but I can never break through that 150 pound wall. Every year I say I am determined to do it this year.

And I really, truly am. I am tired of being fat. I am tired of being winded after walking up stairs. I am tired of not wanting to be in a bathing suit because I don't like how I look. It is going to be beach season soon and I want to be proud of my outside, the way I am of my inside. For the first time, I am really content with who I am and where I am in my life. Now, I want that inner self to be reflected in my outer self.

It is my hope that by writing this blog and being accountable, I will be able to break through that wall and find a new me on the other side.

Woo Hoo Me!

I'm tooting my own horn this morning, I had a great workout last night and this morning. I like to do toning at night since it helps me to stay away from the food. In a back Fitness issue, I found a bunch of exercises and they are t-o-u-g-h. I managed to do most of them in about 45 minutes, though the article suggested they should all take about 30 minutes. I didn't modify or beginner-ize them either. (Yes, that's a word, I made it up, but it is a word)

Then, this morning I did a mini-duathalon. Ha ha. That just means I went biking and running. For 30 minutes. So, it is definitely mini. I rode 1.5 miles then ran 1/2 mile, then run/walk 1/2 mile back and finished off biking 1.5 miles. It was hard but I did it and I am sweating in plus 5 degree (C) weather so I think I finally burned it like a Biggest Loser.

I nearly met my water goal yesterday but actually did overall. Let me explain: see I'm supposed to drink 3 coffee mugs of water at work. I only drank 2. But, I had an extra water at home, so that made up for it. Today I am going to try harder to drink those 3 cups at work. It is getting in the habit and remembering that is the real problem. (Oh, and all my water yesterday was plain. That has to be some kind of a record.)

Favorite Salad

I'm a creature of habit. I eat the same oatmeal (rolled oats, dried fruit, cinnamon & honey) every morning. I ate homemade soup every day for 6 months. Currently, I am out of my soup, which is so sad, so I've had to move on to salad.

This week's salad is: lettuce, carrot, zucchini topped with 1/2 cup of chickpeas and then 1/3 cup of cottage cheese. Pack this in a lunch container. Don't mix the salad together & it stays super crunchy. At work, open container, dig down about 1/2 way, add a squirt of fat free Ranch dressing and then mix.

Savour and enjoy all the delightful healthy bites. (And feel just a little bit superior to your co-workers who are eating fried, battered or otherwise unhealthy lunches.)

Weekend Blahs

Well, I did say any workout on the weekend is a bonus.

So far, I have had no bonuses. In fact, we had a big party on Saturday & I didn't say no to a second piece of brownie cake. Yes, it was low-fat, no it wasn't healthy & the salad I also ate didn't exactly "make up" for the cake. But it was oh-so-good. And, there's no need to go through life eating no cake at all, right?

I was watching an old Biggest Loser episode on Slice this morning. Guilty pleasure, but I love that show. It was one of the non-Gillian seasons, but I don't know which one. Anyhow, it occured to me that I don't work out even half as hard as they do. Not the last-chance workouts, just the regular ones. No wonder I'm not having a lot of success. Lightbulb! Maybe if I put a little more effort into the exercise, I'd see a little more results.

Sad truth when you "learn" about weight loss from being a couch potato.

Not a Great Start for a Friday

Today isn't starting out the very best, I have to admit. My usual schedule is: get up at 6:18, out the door by 6:25 and walk, run or bike ride for 30 minutes

Today, I got up at 6:30, left the house at 6:35 and was back from my walk (stroll, is more like it!) by 6:55. So, not exactly my regular 30 minutes of heart pounding, waist shrinking exercise. I'm tired & didn't even want to get out of bed, so I'm counting this as a victory anyway.

This week's goal has been to get up and exercise every day, so I think I've met that goal. I don't count weekends (for exercise) in goal setting, because they are so variable. That's just setting me up for failure. I figure any workout I get in on the weekends is a bonus day.

My next goal is going to be drinking more water. I don't really like plain water, so I mostly jazz it up with lemon or lime juice or crystal lite. The goal for next week is going to be:

Drink 3 large glasses of water at home (1 must be plain water)
Drink 3 coffee mugs of water at work (1 must be plain water)

I think that works out to a little over the 8 glasses per day. Right now, I am drinking 2 and 2, so that shouldn't be too much of a strain on my body. I will also commit to continuing to workout every morning.

I am hopeful that next week, I will start to see some positive changes in how I feel and how I look. I've been back at this new workout for about 2 weeks now and only seen gains on the scale and my clothes fit exactly the same. I am really needing a little extra boost to keep going, but I know it's coming, I just have to work for it.

Stats

So, here are my stats for April 16:

Current Weight: 157 lbs
Measurements:
Waist (belly button) 36.5"
Hips 40.75"
R Upper Thigh 24.5"
R Upper Arm 12.0"
Underband 33"
Bust 37.75"

Why I'm Worth it

Welcome to my new blog - a little corner of the internet for me to track, obsess and fret over my own journey to better health. Yes, I'm trying to focus on being healthy as opposed to a certain size, shape or weight. I'm nowhere near ready to give up my scale, but I hope that someday, I can be.

In an interview, Michelle Obama commented that she gets up at 4:30 a.m. to exercise. When questioned about why she gets up so early, her answer was

Well, I just started thinking, if I had to get up to go to work, I'd get up and go to work. If I had to get up to take care of my kids, I'd get up to do that. But when it comes to yourself, then it's suddenly, "Oh, I can't get up at 4:30." So I had to change that.

That is exactly how I'm feeling these days (except that I get up at 6:18 a.m.), I have to make myself the priority, just the way I would make my kids a priority.

So here are the top reasons I am worth it:

1. My kids depend on me to be healthy, active and live a long life.

2. My family has a history of heart disease, diabetes and cancer

3. I have spent a fortune on Weight Watchers and having nothing to show for it.

4. I have an outfit in my closet I have never worn because I bought it that last time I lost some weight

5. When I work out: I feel better. I look better. I am more active. I am less depressed.


So, welcome, again, to my new blog. Join me on the journey to healthy living.